ADVENTURES OF OVIE EPISODE 4

If you missed episode 1, click HERE
If you missed episode 2, click HERE
If you missed episode 3, click HERE

All eyes on Rukevwe as he entered into the house. Feeling rather uneasy, he was forced to ask questions

RUKEVWE: Why una dey look me like who see ghost? Wetin dey happen for here?

ME: Rukevwe, where my N10,000?

PAPA: Ovie, what nonsense are you spewing from your mouth? Is it your N10,000?

ME: Sorry, where my papa N10,000?

PAPA: I dare not call what was given to my Heavenly father as mine any longer. Ovie, who says I own the money anymore

ME: Nawa o, sorry papa, Rukevwe where Jesus N10,000?

PAPA: Ehen, now you are talking. Where is Jesus’ N10,000 Rukevwe?

RUKEVWE: Una see where dem write my name as Heaven accountant? Abi Jesus clear una sey N10,000 miss from him bank? Still on still seff Ovie, you dey even fall my hand. Bros J wey use mouth take build this full world, how missing N10,000 go worry am?

ME: Rukevwe see no just change this matter. Where the N10,000 you carry from my room yesterday?

RUKEVWE: Wait, so na your room be the Heaven wey Bros J dey stay? That room wey oxygen seff dey run comot.

ME: Rukevwe no just difficult this whole issue

RUKEVWE: Ovie, which winch you chop? Just tell me sey your N10,000 miss make I help you find am.

As if to back his words with action, Rukevwe started searching the parlour for the missing N10,000 while Nero took steps towards the door. As soon as papa noticed Nero, he questioned him

PAPA: Where are you heading to Nero? Oya lock that door and hand me the key. No one is leaving this place until we demystify the whereabouts of this missing envelope.

Nero locks the door and hands the key over to officer Roko.

PAPA: Sometime lastweek, I gave Ovie an envelope containing N10,000 for him to take to the Church. I intentionally spelt the word ‘confidential’ on it so as to forestall any element who may decide to tear it open. Today, I hear that you, Rukevwe have an envelope with that exact word written on it and that which Ovie once had is no longer in his possession.

RUKEVWE: Ooh, na that envelope una dey talk about? Papa see that tin dun enter voicemail.

ME: Ahh!!!

PAPA: Rukevwe you had better be joking because who chop that money must vomit am

RUKEVWE: If na so, everybody for here go join vomit am na, except you papa.

PAPA: Mama Ovie, so you also join chop Jesus money?

MAMA: Rukevwe thunder go fire this your mouth. Na me, your mama mate you dey use play like this. Which time I join chop this money?

RUKEVWE: Mama see you seff chop.

Infuriated, my mom charges forward to hit Rukevwe but is stopped by my father.

PAPA: No amount of slapping can even undo what has happened but I am just surprised to even know that Rukevwe is now a thief.

RUKEVWE: See, I no tiff this envelope, na just collect I collect am. Even Ovie dey collect tins anyhow from my house based on ‘guyman’ level.

ME: Ruki but you know sey limit dey na. you dun fall my hand big time.

RUKEVWE: Ovie, why you even dey miss-yan like this. This N10,000 suppose be our ticket to millions. I just say make I help you keep am.

PAPA: Oya, you don’t need to keep it again. Bring the envelope.

RUKEVWE: Paleh, monkey no dey go market come back the same oh.

PAPA: Which kind dirty proverb be that one?

RUKEVWE: Papa e mean sey the money dun almost delete finish

PAPA: How much is left?

RUKEVWE: Like N3,000

PAPA: Oghene!!! You spent N7,000 in less than one day this boy

NERO: Bros, you just fall my hand sha, people dey blow N20,000 in 5 minutes, you no fit blow N10,000 in 1 day.

PAPA: Nero e be like sey you dun ready to go meet Bros J for inside Heaven abi? I just knew something like this would happen which is why I wanted to deliver this money to the priest myself but my awesome wife disagreed, telling me my children are trustworthy.

MAMA: Roko, how would I have known this would happen? Rukevwe, how all of us join chop this money?

RUKEVWE: Ok, make I explain. I first tidy Nero N1,000 based on big brother.

NERO: Bros but you no tell me sey na Jesus get the money na, see implication

RUKEVWE: Wait na, make I finish. Mama, I still dash you fruits after we jam for market yesterday. You use better smile collect am, even bless me join.

MAMA: But Ruki all the fruits na gift na.

RUKEVWE: Mama, you dun see where them use teeth buy fruits for market before? Na from the N10,000 I use buy  all the fruits na.

MAMA: Oya how much you buy everything?

RUKEVWE: N2,000.

MAMA: Ruki which kind yeye N2,000. Your mama no teash you how to take price market?

RUKEVWE: Na only quality something I suppose give my people na.

MAMA: If na so e be, Roko, you seff join chop am.

ME: Mama, you just talk 1 gbedu wey dey burst brain. Papa chop seff???

PAPA: What nonsense are you talking woman?

MAMA: Roko just leave all that talk. All the banana, plantain plus including apples wey all of una chop, na from Rukevwe hand everything fallout na

PAPA: Wait, so you people are telling me I per-took in the sharing of the loot

RUKEVWE: Papa e never finish o, I still send Ovie N1,000 card, suppose use N2,000 take bet but I never place the bet yet

PAPA: So you engaged in loot sharing Rukevwe?

RUKEVWE: Papa, I get faith sey this bet go pure so I dun already start the celebration.

PAPA: Have you placed the bet yet?

RUKEVWE: Not yet. The money still dey here.

PAPA:  Oya, give me the money

As Rukevwe removed the money from his pocket, a folded piece of paper fell from his pocket to the ground.

PAPA: What paper is that?

RUKEVWE: Na Ovie Post-UTME…

Before he could finish, I cut him short

ME: The balance remains N1,000

PAPA: That’s true ooh, I sent you to print his result. Was he successful this time?

RUKEVWE: Hahahahahah Ovie , your matter taya us oh

ME: Not again My Lord

Catch the next episode of this adventure next week Friday.

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