POWERDRUNK…A TALE OF POWER, MONEY AND RESPECT

In the run-up to the primary elections of the ‘All United Party (A.U.P.),

a lot of power tussle went on behind the scenes. Due to the way things were quickly going south, the party leaders Elder Bayo, Chief Kofo and Barr.Segun saw it wise to invite the 4 strong candidates vying for the position of governorship of the state to Elder Bayo’s house. Engr. Coker, Dr. Smith, Architect Linus and Hon. Mrs Stella were therefore sent messages to that effect.

ELDER BAYO(E.B): You see what I told you,this woman will not show up because she feels too big.

CHIEF KOFO(C.K.): Bayo don’t say that. We scheduled this meeting for 3pm. It is just 5 minutes past that time. We shall give her a grace of 20 minutes.

BARR.SEGUN(B.S.): I wonder why you 2 are focused on only Stella. Is she the only one that is not here? Even Linus is not here also. Only Coker and Smith have honoured our invitation.

E.B: It is wrong for a woman to keep her elders waiting. This woman is biting more than she can chew.

COKER: My elders, just let us start this meeting. It is obvious that the remaining 2 people do not regard this council and therefore they should be sanctioned or what do you think Smith.

SMITH: I concur, infact…

Before he could finish, Hon. Stella walks into the room and apologizes for her latecoming and she is closely followed by Linus.

After exchanging pleasantries, the much anticipated meeting kicks off around 3.30pm.

E.B: I welcome you all to my home. Look I would go straight to the point. The 4 of you here are big-wigs of this party and thus the 4 of you are running for this single position via this party is tearing this party apart. Infact,…

Before he could finish, Smith cuts him short

SMITH: Tell Linus that please.

LINUS: Hahahahahahahah!!! We all know who started this dirty politicking. Smith you sent a snitch into my campaign team thinking I would not know.

SMITH: Pls, I am not going down this lane with you.

STELLA: My husbands, pls let us be civil.

All 3 aspirants jump up in anger at the sight of being referred to as her husband

COKER: Shut up there woman!!!! Your mates are in the kitchen while you are here fighting for political office.

LINUS: What upsets me is the fact that she feels she is more popular than us all. Can you imagine the nonsense?

SMITH: Look we are here to infact tell you Stella to pull out of the race and return back to the kitchen where you belong.

C.K: SHUT UP ALL OF YOU AND SIT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

E.B: I am highly disappointed in all of you, especially you Smith for interrupting me. You that we showed you the way this game is played.

SMITH: I am sorry sir. E ma binu e jo.

Sensing that the atmosphere was getting too tensed, Barr. Segun orders a drink for everyone and begs E.B. to continue with the talk after everyone has had something to drink. After the round of drinks, E.B. continues his speech

E.B : As I was saying, A.U.P.has been in power for 7 years now and we must remain in power after this tenure has expired so we are here to discuss how this politicking can be alittle bit saner.

C.K: I think 4 of you may endup sinking one another and this party if we do not resolve this impasse

B.S: See I don’t like talking too much, we are here to buy out 2 of the candidates in this race  or atleast 1 so that the heat will reduce a little.

SMITH: Hahahahahahahahaha, the woman should return to the kitchen na. it is not hard. Look, Stella, I have the kind of money that your generation past and your generation to come have never seen and can never see so just name your prize.

LINUS: Oh my brother Smith you are well carried.  Even this Engr.Coker you do not need this position. Kilo kan Engineer pelu gomina (whats the correlation between and engineer and a governor). Infact Coker  I know that my house in Eko Atlantic City has been in your eye since. I will add it to your pay out package jor. Just drop the ticket.

COKER: Empty barrels truly make the most noise. I just keep laughing. See small Linus that begged me to help him talk to my father about doing his industrial training in the company is now bragging because of small money he has amassed. Mister man my money is on an aeroplane level, yours is still in an okada level so you had better give yourself sense. Awon olowo n soro, talika na fe la nu soro(where rich people are talking this pauper also wants to contribute).

LINUS: Are you talking to me like that? Do you know who I am? Do you know…

COKER: Linus see if you do not know who you are, go and ask google. Your type would be begging to eat my dog food if not for the fact that Elder Bayo put in good word for you to my father.

At this point, Linus jumps up to strike Coker but Elder Bayo stops him. Coker just kept his cool while smiling and looking away. After Linus had calmed down

COKER: Linus you are just a toothless local dog breed. Infact I wonder why I allowed your daughter to…..

B.S: No, no Coker. Please let us stop all this. This is not why we are here so the 2 of you should receive sense.

Stella who had being bottling a lot all this while cleared her throat and made to speak

STELLA: (Kneeling down facing the elders) Greetings to my fathers. I thank you for giving me this opportunity to be here. My vision to govern this state didn’t start today.

COKER: See this one o………….stories that touch!!!!!

STELLA: As I was saying, my passion for helping people goes way back to the time when…

LINUS: Stella stop all this talk na. See, we don’t have patience for all this. Drop your political ambition and name your prize so that we can all go on in peace.

STELLA: Linus, Linus. Even if I were to name my prize, nobody here can afford it.

SMITH: Woman name the prize na.

STELLA: My prize is for you all to drop out from the race for the greater good of the party.

At these words, the entire room became irritated and it became a shouting battle. Unrelented by this scenario, Stella continued

STELLA: Look I am the best option the party has right now and my supporters would keep getting more by the day.

COKER: Was there weed in the drink that this woman drank? Abi is she having menopausal issues????

Abuses went back and forth in the room till the elders were able to calm the situation down. After all was calm,

C.K: eleyi gidi gan

B.S: This one is strong.

E.B: So you all are still in the race?

They all echoed an emphatic yes

E.B: I have over N50 million to give anyone who decides to pullout now. Are you all still in the race?

Again, they all echoed the same answer. Seeing that their minds were made up,

C.K: In the light of that, this meeting is dismissed. You all should go and prepare for the election debate holding next week in line with A.U.P. practices. Please bear in mind that the congress for collective restoration (CCR) is  already closing in on us so this debate shall be our chance to widen the gap.

E.B: You all should please get your acts together and in as much as I feel disappointed at the outcome of this meeting, I wish you all success. You can all take your leave.

Quietly, they all disperse into the night.

Catch the next episode same time next Saturday. Catch the next episode of this adventure next week Saturday. Feel free to drop your comments and contributions.

Do endeavour to share the posts with friends.

For mobile phones,

Follow us on twitter @Frozenhuman1

Subscribe to our BBM channel at C00295B9E

Like our facebook page at www.facebook.com/FrozenHumanBlog

For laptops and tabs, simply click on the like button on the right to like our facebook page and click on @frozenhuman1 directly below the Facebook box to follow us on Twitter.